~Just For Fun~
| The CROW GAZETTE One never knows when one will have to eat crow! ================================================== ORIGINS OF EXPRESSIONS ================================================== TO EAT CROW An expression meaning to be abased or obliged to accept or do something extremely disagreeable, usually as a result of being caught doing something wrong. The incident which gave rise to the expression "to eat crow" occurred along the Niagara River toward the end of the war of 1812. A New Englander crossed the river to hunt for fresh meat during an armistice. Finding nothing, he took a quick shot at a passing crow and brought it down. A British officer, hearing the shot, caught the intruder as he was reloading his gun. With diplomacy, the officer complimented "so fine" a shot and asked to examine the soldier's excellent weapon. The unsuspecting soldier passed his gun over. The British officer then brought it to his shoulder and ordered the soldier to take a bite out of the dead crow. Fearing for his life, he obeyed the order. After a strict warning to never cross the river again, the British officer handed back the soldier's gun and told the Yank to leave. The quick-witted New Englander now having the weapon, shouldered it and then ordered the officer to finish eating the crow. The British officer begged and offered money but was sternly refused. Faced with death, the officer ate the crow. The incident became widely known because the British officer went the next day and filed a complaint with the American commander demanding that the New Englander be punished for violating an armistice. When the soldier was brought forward for questioning, the American captain asked if he had ever seen the Englishman before. Stuttering, the Yank explained, "W-w-why y-y-yes, Captin', I d-d-dined with him y-y-yesterday." TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE As old as the Bible, this expression is found in chapter 4 of Ecclesiastics, verse 9. It becomes the rhetorical answer to a frequently asked question, "Why do folks marry?" ================================================= CANNED CROW ================================================== One never knows when one will have to eat crow! When a crow is cooked, canned and shelved beside the Spam and tuna fish, it offers the crow meat consumer with quick eatable crow meat. Instant crow meat is necessary for the person who needs to get the process of eating crow over quickly. Canning crow is highly recommended for those needing to eat crow often, and with short warning. Also, if you live in a state with substantial snowfall, it may be wise to plan ahead. Fresh crow is hard to obtain during the harsh winter months, so unless one consumes the meat raw (not recommended by the way) it really "smells up" the entire house while cooking. Winter facts gleaned from actual experience; it is difficult to process and pluck a crow while wearing mittens and a crow's body has a tendency to freeze solid, quickly. Preserving crow meat ahead for the inevitable consumption is best done during the pleasant summer and fall seasons. Crows can be seen flying about the outdoors during the warm seasons. An empty beer can or a rock may be used to perform the nasty deed of killing. Lucky you, beer cans and rocks are found on the ground in abundance this time of year. Do not try to shoot a crow with a shotgun. Very little actual crow will be left to process. Never snare a crow alive. Eye contact with the crow is not recommended, it makes a blood thirsty, "hands on killing" very difficult. Cooking and preparing a crow for canning is best done outdoors. Carefully pluck every feather, from the entire crow's body. Remember to give the plucked feathers to the handy neighborhood craftster. It makes the crow's death a bit more justifiable. Remove the innards (recommended but not necessary) and cut off the head and feet (also optional). Take great effort to dispose of the tiny, bloody, lifeless, detached, orange feet. Seeing them later just lying there upon the harsh brown earth, may cause eating the canned crow meat an even more difficult activity. Drop the prepared body in a gallon coffee can filled with alum and saltwater. Boil vigorously for at least four hours. Remember to do this in an open area on an open fire. Carefully separate the cooled crow meat from the bones and place in small jars (only small amounts are needed). Seal the jars according to your own personal method. Crow meat can't be grilled. The small pieces of oily meat quickly fall through the wire grill and start a grease fire. The entire crow can be wrapped in aluminum foil and baked in an open pre-heated pit, however. If one has ever smelled a crow baking in a pit the aroma and sound alone will make consumption nearly impossible. Grilling crow meat on a skewer with vegetables is a tremendous waste of good vegetables. Crow is famously hard to ingest. It is not recommended that crow be eaten with any type of hot sauce. Catsup, mustard or a little bar-b-que sauce on a browned pumpernickel bun would be a desirable choice. Usually, crow is not eaten in private, so don't "over do" with messy condiments in public places. Warning: Never eat crow dipped in chocolate (even though it is a comfort food), no matter how tempting it may seem. The human stomach finds the combination vile and will reward the mistake with unrelenting purging. ================================================= PREPARING CROW JERKY OR JERKING A CROW ================================================== Crow jerky can be found in its natural state while searching the hiways and byways of our well traveled country. Many travelers mistake this consumable form of crow meat for road kill, not realizing its value in the human food chain. Two problems, however emerge with crow jerky found all ready prepared for consumption: #1- Identification of a flat animal as an actual crow is often tricky. Look for a crushed, but distinct crow bill, bright orange feet and the presence of black feathers. Don't bag any road kill that you are not sure it is a crow. This would be a mistake to consume something, thinking it is a crow, then find out later you did not eat crow after all. Over sensitive people may lie awake at night wondering and imagining what was actually eaten. The imagination can be a merciless enemy. #2- This type of jerky, however full of fiber and natural protein bug content, can be too crunchy and/or chewy if not found fresh. During the summer months it is easy to detect a recent "crow flattening" by the smell or the lack of it. Preparing a crow to be jerked (made into jerky) is possible, but it is too much work. It is fun, however to search for natural crow jerky along any black top. If time is a problem, a trucker friend with a scraping knife can be offered cash or other valuables to keep his eyes open while on the job. ================================================= Bird Walk Down Memory Lane Remember this from Mother Goose? Did your Mom or Granny read this to you at bedtime? Sing a song of six-pence, pocket full of rye. Twelve and twenty (that makes thirty two) black birds baked into a pie. When the pie was opened the birds began to sing. Wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king? What kind of a deal is that anyway? Would a king consider eating a dainty dish of live crow pie? How did the cook bake the pie and keep the birds still singing? This pie would be gruesome and very hard to eat. The crust would be soiled with "bird duty" and slimy. Dose the QUEEN WANT SOME? So many questions! Please e-mail me if you have any answers!!! I'll share any that seem to make sense. Thanks, Joy Field Coming soon: who is a Black Sheep? * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  Laugh Often and Live Well. Proverbs 17:22 |
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